This is an article that appeared in the Washington Post column “Solo-ish”in which I was interviewed about housing and the impact of moving from your home during and after a separation and divorce.

Relationships

When I got divorced, I moved from a big house to a tiny apartment. It was a shock.

(Washington Post) By Christina Adams

October 18, 2016

The woman in my rental apartment has a bright smile. On this sunny California day, she’s moving into the tall cupboard of a place behind my house. It has lofty ceilings, a tiny living room and two small bedrooms for her kids.The women in my apartment always smile, to mask their fear and relief. I’ve had men, too, who’ve seemed a little dejected, behind their wry and painful grins.

“Maybe I’ll have my interior designer friend help me with paint colors,” she says. “I’m thinking I need a brighter white.”

“Sure, that would be great,” I say.

The place is charming, with an iron gate and real wood fireplace, but I know how downsizing ex-wives can feel about renting and moving on.

Like the woman at my place, my real estate destiny had once looked pristine, as a wife in a big Newport Beach house. But as my 10th wedding anniversary neared, when California state law says spousal support can increase, my lawyer husband suddenly wanted our little boy and me out. We had to leave his elegant house immediately, although legally we had six months or more. He followed me around the house every day, asking angrily when we’d be gone. Soon the pressure became too much to bear.

I knew to have modest hopes about what we might find: a little yard and safe street, maybe a few miles from school. But rents were expensive, and my son’s special needs had left me unable to work. Nothing looked pretty in my price range.

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